


Touch Me

by lesbiananglerfish



Category: The Book of Mormon - Parker/Stone/Lopez
Genre: Connor Needs A Hug, M/M, Non-Graphic Smut, Songfic, spring awakening - Freeform, they all need hugs tbh, they are still teenage boys, touch me, touch-starved mormons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-30
Updated: 2016-01-30
Packaged: 2018-05-17 02:57:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5851462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesbiananglerfish/pseuds/lesbiananglerfish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based off "Touch Me" from Spring Awakening, because I am not over dwsa being closed.</p>
<p>Connor is trying to turn it off, he really is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Touch Me

**Author's Note:**

> My poor baby Connor has hell dreams every night and that's more than my gay little heart can take. Please excuse this fic, it's a mess between mcpricely feels, Spring Awakening feels, and my own touch-starvedness from being away.

It was something the missionaries didn’t talk about but knew all too well. Cornered off in a strange land with their only purpose to be as devout as possible, even the most pious of them ached for touch. Not even the passionate gropes of forbidden lovers, just the simple comfort of an embrace or a hand carding through their hair.

It tended not to take long for the feeling to set in, even just hours in Uganda could make a young missionary crave any comfort they could find. But even friendly touches had been discouraged at the training center and many of the boys felt as though a platonic pat on the arm could be enough to bring them fiery visions that night.

So each elder sought a substitute for physical comfort in their own way. One Elder found his in a food he used to eat when he was young, and thus received the nickname Elder Pop Tarts. Elder Church found his in reading the letters from his family over and over until the creases gave out. 

Connor McKinley never found a true substitute, simply falling back on what he always did, turning it off. Whenever the hot hours of the night got to him and his entire being begged for touch, he just batted at the switch in his mind as often as he had to, until sleep overtook him and he was plagued by the usual nightmarish visions.

But when the very touchy-feely Elder Cunningham and his gorgeous mission companion arrived, the carefully constructed barriers between the boys seemed to fall. Arnold had no qualms about touching any of the other elders, and while at first they shied away, soon they found themselves returning the platonic affection. Not long after his arrival, it wasn’t uncommon to find mission companions clapping each other on the back or leaning their heads on each other’s shoulders.

Everyone that is, except for Elders McKinley and Price. Connor didn’t dare allow himself the luxury of intimacy, knowing it would only make “turning it off” harder and the hell dreams more vivid.

And then within the blink of an eye, the world had been pulled out from under him and he was no longer a member of the Church. Instead, he was helping write a new book, the Book of Arnold, with all kinds of additions that certainly didn’t help his religious guilt complex. The new foundation they were laying had no issues with touch and Arnold went as far as insisting on a super-secret handshake for all Elders of the Book of Arnold that culminated in a hug. Their new prophet had cornered Connor on more than one occasion to remind him that he had included the Ballad of Spock and Kirk because the his church had no problem with “being a little gay” and that he didn’t have to be afraid of his own thoughts anymore. While Connor appreciated what Arnold was trying to do (even if he wasn’t sure Spock and Kirk were actually homosexuals), the guilt he’d been living with for years wasn’t just going to evaporate.

Especially with the beautiful Elder Price and his stupid, perfect hair always managing to be too close to him. It seemed no matter how much he tried, Connor couldn’t avoid the near omnipresent elder. If he went to go grab something from the bathroom, who was stepping out of the tiny shower but Kevin Price with only a towel wrapped around his waist.  
As if Connor needed more proof that God hated him.

“S-sorry, elder,” he stuttered out, fleeing the bathroom.  
\--------------------  
His mission companion had long since stopped waking up when he bolted upright in the middle of the night, gasping through sobs and half formed pleas of forgiveness. Tonight, though his companion wasn’t in the room when he sat up, likely having chosen to crash on the couch in the common area instead. Grateful for the privacy, Connor allowed himself a moment before inevitably turning it off to let himself sob. 

Tonight’s phantasm had been especially painful, as it had started out as a lovely dream where the beautiful Elder Price had taken him out to a vineyard where they had spun to music only they could hear. Just as Connor was leaning in after telling Kevin that he loved him, as he had never loved anyone else, the taller boy’s face had contorted, turning in his father, then his pastor, and finally into the devil himself, screaming all kinds of abuse.

The door suddenly creaked slowly open to reveal a concerned Elder Price, hair uncharacteristically mussed.

“Elder McKinley, I thought I heard- oh!” His eyes widened as he noticed wet cheeks and trembling shoulders.

Connor knew he should do what he always did, turn it off and pretend nothing happened, but tonight had broken him. He’d simply been pushed too far and hadn’t felt comfort in almost a year.

Price hesitated only a moment before moving to sit on the edge of the bed.

“Connor, what is it?” 

To say he was shocked to hear his first name for the most time in ages would have been an understatement and Connor could no longer find it in himself to turn it off, any of it. Not the pain, not the desire, and not the desperate longing to be held, even just for a moment.

“Elder Pri- Kevin, please. Touch me,” he gripped the other boy’s shoulder for support “just for a bit.”

His eyebrows knit together, clearly confused by the request. Upon seeing the open desperation in Connor’s serious face, he gave in. Hesitantly, Kevin reach forward to brush his fingertips along pale cheekbones before sliding his hand into red hair. Connor suppressed a sob and leaned forward to press his face into his solid chest.

“Tell me please that all is forgiven,” the words fell from his lips before he could stop them. The arms simply held him tighter and Connor knew. He shuddered, all silent, once before drawing back just enough to look into Kevin’s dark eyes.

“Can I-” he murmured sliding his hands up to frame his perfect face “just try it?” he breathed. 

Kevin nodded just slightly before leaning forward to brush his lips against his, and oh God that’s heaven Connor couldn’t help but think. He pressed forward, as though he could breathe Kevin in, if only he could get close enough. Blessedly, his lips parted and Connor took the opportunity to run his tongue along those perfect teeth. He felt Kevin gasp into his mouth, pushing him backwards into the thin mattress. Reaching up, Connor began to peel off his temple garments, desperate to see that smooth torso again. Kevin seemed to sense his urgency and replaced Connor’s shaking hands with his steady ones, making quick work of the garment and sliding it off. Connor couldn’t help but gasp at the sight of a naked Kevin Price, illuminated only by the moonlight, leaning over him. 

“Touch me,” he breathed out once again, arching his body up to meet Kevin’s hands.

“Like this?”

“Just like that,” he gasped as he slid the temple garment from his body and ran his hands over his freckled chest.

Hands were quickly replaced with a mouth, pressing insistent kisses across his torso.

“God, that’s so nice,” he moaned as a clever tongue flicked over his nipple. He glanced down to see Kevin’s heavily lidded eyes blinking up at him with the same desperation Connor felt roiling in his chest. He slid a hand into that gorgeous hair to pull him up into a feverish kiss. Kevin withdrew quicker than he would have liked, causing Connor to whimper as he kissed back down his neck to return to lavishing kisses across his freckled chest. Connor couldn’t help but find himself impatient, he had waited this long and he’d be damned if he had to wait any longer.

“Now lower down, where-” he cut himself off with a guttural moan, as Kevin dropped his mouth exactly where Connor had wanted it with no hesitation. “Oh my God!”  
His mouth was so warm and wet and how could anything this wonderful be evil?

Worried it will all be over too soon, he tugs on his silken hair, pulling him up to kiss his red, red mouth. Sliding his hands over his smooth back, Connor pressed against the swell of his ass until their bare hips collided.

Kevin gasped into his mouth, pressing impossibly closer to feel them slide together.

“Connor, oh my God,”

“Yeah?”

“Love me,”

They both paused the circling of their hips for a moment, Kevin hadn’t planned on saying those words and Connor certainly hadn’t been expecting to hear them. His surprise quickly turned to a smile as he pressed his forehead against Kevin’s.

“I’ll love you, and I promise to do it right,” 

With that he hooked a leg up over Kevin’s hip and turned them over, pressing his hips down into the other man’s.

“Now, that I like,” Kevin breathed out as Connor ducked his head into the crook of his neck to place biting kisses just under where his collar would hide.

Connor rolled his hips again and Kevin gasped and scrambled to take hold of his hair. He furiously pulled his head up to attach their mouths. Connor continued to slide them together, greedily swallowing all the moans and whimpers Kevin offered.

“Oh my God,”

“Oh yeah yeah yeah,”

Their cries echoed softly in the small room.

“Kevin,” he couldn’t help but gasp into his neck.

“I know I know”

“I’m- I’m gonna-” With that, Connor felt heaven break over him as he painted Kevin’s stomach white. He came back to himself just in time to hear Kevin groan out his name and felt the warm droplets hit his chest.

He tried to roll off of him, the stickiness between them left him a little uncomfortable, but wiry muscled arms held him in place.

“No, stay,” Kevin’s breath tickled his ear. He couldn’t stop the fond smile that broke over his face.

“Just for a bit,” he replied, settling into his arms and rolling them sideways. They stayed, curled up in each other’s arms, for another moment before Connor voiced his thoughts.

“Kevin?”

“Mmm?” He murmured into Connor’s pallid neck.

“Do you think there is love in heaven?”

Kevin pulled away to look into his eyes as he pondered that idea, before nodding.

“I believe…”


End file.
